So you may have guessed it, though you could never tell, but I have a new thing in my life...and its called love. Hmmm, granted not love just yet, but pretty darn close. The funniest part, is that it got dropped on me as if by a baby stork. Like a Thanksgiving dinner delivery, literally. We'll call him L for now (L&L so cute, I know!). And yet I've lied again...the funniest part is actually this...my mother fixed us up. On what planet that actually works, I have no idea, but its true! She had a little twiddle of her thumbs at the art of matchmaking last year when she was in town and I invited her for her first ever margarita (another story entirely). She said she wanted to bring along a friend, and over dinner, whilst watching their marriage-like banter back and forth, I had imagined later on she would tell me that she had gone cougar on me and that he was her new lover. But in fact, she had brought him for me. Brought him to be shown off like a clean cut doxin at a dog show. Oh nice ears. Very slender calves. Nice trot. Unfortunately, at that moment, he was not my cup of tea in physical attraction or mentally, as I was still depressed and clinging on to the fleeting memories of my ex fiance.
Fast forward a full year, and she invites him to meet me for Thanksgiving. Knowing I would be all alone, it was actually a nice surprise to see him again. A year sure did do his body good, because he looked good enough to eat! I almost did. I had been intentionally starving all day to pace myself for all the calories awaiting me on Thanksgiving night. He invited me to the movies. We went. I had a drink. Or two. I was tipsy, and so my lips perhaps might have tipped themselves right over onto his face. He didn't seem to mind. We talked on the phone the next day. We went to a party and danced the night after. We spent this whole past weekend together too. I don't know what the heck is going on, but it makes me believe in reincarnation. How we can just click like we have known each other for light years, its unfathomable. Soul mates is too cheesy, kindred spirits doesn't fit either, but there is something there brewing, and I'm just so thankful. For someone who thought she would never find such happiness again, its the best Thanksgiving gift ever. Love is the best cure to loneliness.
But my only problem is this! The inevitable comparisons to my ex. I keep doing it! Does anyone else do that? My ex was amazing in that he literally found all my life dreams and ambitious quirks to be appealing. If I told him one night I wanted to buy a vintage RV, paint it all pink, set sights across the country, and just cruise for months selling cupcakes at boardwalks or buy a run down cabin in the middle of the forest, paint it all white like a fairytale palace, use it as a bed and breakfast while we sleep off in a streamer somewhere, he would have been waiting with our bags packed when I got home. So what do I do now...starting from scratch..with the same dreams and quirks. I want to live in a gingerbread house just like this, in the forest with the owls and the wood nymphs and light fairies, where the wind sings and the moon glows and the river runs through it like a harmony. Will I have to do it alone, give up the dream, or have my cake and eat it too? I wonder...
