a different kind of minimalist lifestyle blog
"excess" fashion editorial styled and directed by me
Why don't you just say outright that your boyfriend spends 4 hours every day snapping your Vogue castaway photos? Ohhh I forgot. It's on the weekends. Riiiight.
You spend every weekend snapping photos of you twirling and strolling and smiling and laughing, and then post them Monday through Friday to make us all believe you lead an utterly fabulous life. That you're an intelligent specimen unlike any other, with the innate sense to style a colorful yet subdued, sexy yet demure; perfectly balanced fashion-forward outfit each and every day before work, (what do you do for work again?) without fail no matter the flu germs hovering about, bloated fat ass days, gloomy weather changes striking last minute, menstrual cycles making life seem shitty, coffee drips that fall on your bosom right as you're stepping out the door.
Oh nooo, you are it.
THE it girl.
You conquer it all. Brands send you clothes and you turn them into effortless works of art. With so much free shit, it makes your monthly clothing budget sing. Now you can prance around in TJ Maxx and score dozens of designer licensed made-in-China crap by the boatload and recommend that your readers buy it full price after you've tracked down "similar" items on the highest commission payout sites. But bless your heart, you're a minimalist now. So you do everything exactly the same.
But now you just wear black and white.
Bravo. I eat every word. I comment "fabulous" on every post! I buy your book. When you say jump, I ask if I should put on my Jimmy Choos or red bottoms first. You tell me to buy 30 pieces every single season and I oblige. You are smarter than me. You're prettier. You seem to have figured out the talent that is blogging because your bank account says so.
But I feel sick.
Like physically ill. The way I did after Roger told me in elementary school he couldn't go out with me anymore because I was "too brown". So I think it has come high time to break up with you. There are 1900 others just like you. I applaud you for seeing the minimalist fashion trend and jumping right in -- affiliate links blazing. I can appreciate a savvy and clever business woman. You go ahead have fun with the endless styling, and I'll continue posting my rants and raves. I seem to only post an outfit when I feel it's worthy of gawking at. And my product recommendations are few and far between. I take my time. I cultivate. I think. I research. But bless your heart doll, because you have a neverending perpetual closet full of clothes that will get pinned and instagrammed and eventually, some time down the road, will win a Nobel Peace Prize. Because you're a humanitarian. You know what other mindless women want, and just like American Apparel or Anthropologie, you'll be dammed if you don't give it to them. #savior
Sooo, just stopping by to say welcome to the updated blog! Hope you like the new look. Do you? Please say you do. I think it's rather warm and inviting and clean. A great canvas for the fed up version of myself. A place where I will paint the town red with things I actually care passionately about, like anti-autonomy, relationships with other humans outside of screens, expanding horizons with global travel at any budget, or mental health via healthy guts. I have a lot of new beliefs and I want to share, to no one in particular. Now that voting has ended, and there's no hope in our government working the next two years, I realized it's time to use our freedom of voice and choice to make things happen. We can't live vicariously through others forever, and we can't keep putting the dream life on hold either. Start now. Don't be ignorant or blind. You're better than that. And by the way....
Tell me in the comments, what would be your ideal minimalist lifestyle blog?