Thanks for stopping by! Here on BECOMING LOLA I share stories on becoming minimalist, as well as living a pure clean life as a style-obsessed digital nomad with a no BS approach to ethical fashion + travel. Grab a glass of wine and start here: Building A Minimalist Wardrobe.


the $20 marciano shoes in which I restrained myself at a vintage shop

For weeks, even months now, I've been girl crushing hard on some bloggers that took me a lifetime to find. Honestly, it truly has. As an editor and technology slut of a consumer, I've been blogging since the birth of the word blog, and even when you could count them on one hand, the chore of digging through the aerated foam to get to the creme de la creme was literally needle hunting. Now the haystack is more like the Amazon, but luckily the cream still rises to the top and I count myself fortunate to have discovered one such rising star, Jess, who has taught me more than any overpriced collegiate program ever could when it comes to how the noggin ticks. 

You find yourself nodding ferociously while reading her blog, because like most things in life, she speaks the common sense that is right in front of us which we chose to push aside. Yet, when I came across her post a while ago about restraint bias and our inability to stop shopping (for heaven's sake already!) I felt a surge of insurmountable pride and irritability and knew I had to test myself on this concept. Is it really possible that I, a grown woman whose seen all the fashion industry's tricks and propaganda, would be incapable of controlling myself on a window shopping escapade? Why I never!





Mental case!

All relevant words, and surely all descriptors of you and me at some point in the last year (cough: month...week? geez lady!).

You should take a ganter at that there post, because Jess brings up some valid points, the least of which takes a stab at the dozens of times us women will inconveniently place ourselves right infront of a very convenient piece of clothing we don't actually need, and all because we were arrogant enough to believe we wouldn't fall for the marketing, the bargain bin, the paid off blogger, the sales clerk, or for no reason at all, we just scoop it up because we can. And I wholeweartedly agree that the ratio of this happening is unsurprisingly not in our favor. Even with that said, I still had the nerve to walk my tush into the epitamy of good taste in the form of a vintage consignment shop, thinking that my memorized shopping list of just one item wouldn't exceed, well, one item. And guess what? It didn't! Want to know the secret sauce for such an accomplishment (I say accomplishment because I had a wad of dough burning a whole in my pocket like a kid on Christmas with a trail of Hallmark money card dust behind him) that is easily reproducible? 

How-To Avoid Restraint Bias Like The Plague

bring your boyfriend, husband, or significant other (<--- that did not say sister, loud mouth cousin, or cheerleading friend who will encourage you worse than the sales clerk itching for commission)

bring a capped source of currency, like um, a $50 bill (this means no credit cards, debit cards, blank checks, or prepared speeches for bartering)

accept the predictable, pesty, superficial help from the sales clerk as soon as you walk in (by answering that cliche question of "looking for anything special today?" with "yes, in fact I need..." instead of the "no just browsing," you put forth an affirmation-like proclamation that you are a woman on a mission and have no time, closet space, or credit line for unnecessary crap)

That's all there is to it, for me anyhow. I know this because it worked like a charm when I sashayed into that aforementioned vintage shop, wallet loaded, eyes darting, and the breath of my impatient boyfriend on my neck. I started with the shoe section, found some shoes, and like a magnet, gravitated toward the sale bags and gorgeous blazers, but remembered that any additional purchases meant no ice cream later since I brought cash, not credit. And NO ONE takes away my ice cream. Not even me.

What about you, how do you shut down impulsive shopping and show restraint?


  1. Haha bringing people along doesn't work at all for me! On the contrary, they would tend to encourage me to buy things by showing me stuff that would suit me, and tell me how well things fit when I try them on.

    It is a good idea to leave with a certain amount of cash, but if you stumble upon a perfect unexpected find, it's a bit frustrating. (not that it happens that often anyway)

    What I usually do when I'm about to buy something is think about all the clothes I have bought in the past years and now linger in my closet because I don't wear them in the end. Then I imagine myself one year from now: is this one going to be worn still, or is it going to end up in this "to sell" pile that I lazily never sell? This kind of thinking usually works well in putting down items that are just so-so.

    Finally, another thing is to ponder what else you could do with the money you are about to spend (when it's a relatively expensive item). Depending on your taste of course - could it pay a full manicure + pedicure + massage? A fancy restaurant? A week-end away? Could it be added to a savings account for a big purchase you're planning like holidays, a new electronic device? Usually, unless I really love the item, thinking about what else I can do with the money just makes me put it down.

    Sorry for the long comment, hope it helps :)

    1. Haha, oh no! Oh well, there goes that idea. But with the unexpected find situation, isn't it a pretty old wives tale in magazines that if you're still thinking about something long after then it was meant to be. So shall someone sort of take a gamble, hope that its still there, and just return to get that item if they truly want it? Because how we can we distinguish "unexpected" from "impulsive". How many times do you think the average woman walks into a store like a man on a mission. Grocery stores, yes. Clothing stores, rarely. I think most people order what they know they want online, and brick and mortar stores serve the purpose of impulsion, bargain hunting, and seeing how things fit in person. What do you reckon?

      Love love the money comparison concept. Wanting a spa day has stopped many a purchase for me ;)

      YOU never have to apologize for long comments, you know I love yours...

  2. I have to seriously love and need something to buy it. And to be honest, having a sales assistant running around me would definitely stop me from even entering the shop. :)

    1. Lol, stop you from breaking and entering. Got it, dully noted :)

  3. Great post girl! :) Thanks for encouraging us by walking the walk. I agree with you wholeheartedly. It's so easy to browse and then become so enthralled with something that you just "can't live without it". Sigh....I love your tips and am honestly going to practice them. Btw, LOVE those shoes! Hugs!

    1. Ah thanks dear! Walking the walk...all the way to the clearance rack!


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