cupcake a day...

How sweet are these cupcakes? I haven't had cupcakes in months guys. And its really making me go a little cookoo in the head. I can't wait to take my bakery classes at the Institute so I can make beauties like these for myself and then share whatevers left over with willing patrons. Till then...

my life in france will be....

...be filled with bike rides along the riverside country towns, visits to all the grande pink palaces with their luscious summer gardens, shopping for blooming peonies even when I have no idea where to put them, indulging in designer fashions (whether rented or stolen!), channeling my inner Jane Birkin whilst I tout around my pink pastry boxes all tied up with ribbon and my lunch wicker basket flaps in my arm, scavenge the city for the most pungent cheeses and brightest macarons, impromptu window shopping at the outdoor book stands where I meet my future European lover over our shared passion for livres de histoire, and of course lots of sneaking up on the croissant delivery boys to see if I can't exchange a few batted eyelashes for a fresh, melt in your mouth pain au chocolat!

But until then, I'm off to make a breakfast smoothie, flip through some mags I just bought (including Elle with Lauren Conrad on the cover, yay!) and watch the highly anticipated Gossip Girl Premiere from last night, online. The episode is called Belle du Jour after all. A bientot mes amis!

the breakfast club...

A perfect day at sea with a picnic of sconces and Chantilly cream, fresh farmer's jam, a flask of hot chocolate, tin mugs to drink it out of, a hint of warmth from a s'mores ready fire, and an oyster bar not too far off in the distance, as dreamed by Lobster and SwanThe girliest birthday that you ever did see, with calligraphy banners and ruffled party streamers setting the scene, while make your own sundae stations, sprinkled marshmallows, and princess cupcakes steal the show by Shelley

A homemade birthday dessert soiree done princess style with fresh from the oven cupcakes, hand crafted deer goodie boxes where tea bags and sugar cubes await, hand dipped chocolate strawberries and calligraphy banners by Livy.

And don't forget, we're off and running over at the Breakfast Club book group on Goodreads. Our first fun little discussion topic was posted today. Homework included creating your own recipes, sharing short stories, and putting together a little meal at home. Don't forget to sign up now if you haven't already. Its free of course, (fun is always free!) and your books can be free too if you relight that magic relationship with your local library just as most of us did in order to do the book club. Meeting new people is the best part, trust you me. There are some extraordinary and lovely people from every country imaginable that I would never otherwise meet, and its great to have something as simple as a love of food and travel to bring us all together...

If you have some delightful photos or blog posts about your picnics, parties, brunches, breakfasts or foodie solo time, do let me know so we can share it next week! Till then, a revoir!

A Homemade Life images by Tea & Cookies

what sundays are for...

Another week has come and gone. It was a pretty good week though. My week felt like a boston cream donut, stuffed to the max with extra goodness. So much so, that you knew for sure some of that goodness would spill into the next week. So its Sunday, the day I used to dread, well you know, because of Mondays. But I'm ready for next week, wherever it leads, I'll carpe diem!

The Breakfast Club has its engines up and running. I'm so excited to see how it unfolds. We have a fun book to read, and you know me, I've always got surprises up my sleeve. There's going to be book club homework, but totally done Lolastyle. So if you haven't joined yet, you really shouldn't be waiting any longer. Don't let that cruise ship sail right past you! If anything, I love that this little club has inspired me to keep reading. I mean I read a ton for school now, but really, how much can you fall in love with Shakespeare and Homer right? Sometimes you need a butter knife to cut through the mundane. A book about Paris or Tuscany does just the trick! And then you dream. Which for heaven's sake, its the best part! Dream about where you will end up, who you will become, how pink your daughter's room will be, how many grapes you'll try to grow to make your own wine, how many letters you'll write to your new European lover. Ha! The glass can always be half full right? So I'm dreaming away whilst I read my little books. But though we always have Paris, for now I'm in NY, and boy oh boy has NY been good to me.

New York in the beginning of fall is like that perfectly hidden gift under the tree, you can't quite see it, but you know what's coming. The moistness in the air, the grayness of the sky, and dancing of the trees. It would make anyone want to break out into song. So I've been a busy bee. I've finally taken my butt to register for an introductory course to yoga, for free. That's next Sunday. Then after I learn just what the heck I'm doing, I got a coupon for 10 classes for $10 at YogaWorks. Can anyone say score? I mean really, yoga and pilates has been on my resolutions list for years, its about time. Then I found quite a few lovely volunteer opportunities so I can rekindle my passion for giving back to the community, all while mingling with my inner obsessions. Here is where you will get jealous. I will be volunteering with the famous NY Food Bank for their annual fundraising event called...well you might have heard of it...the Food Network Wine&Food Festival! Oh yeah. Bobby Flay, Paula Deen, and tons of free samples. Curing hunger in the city never looked so bright. I also found a program called BKFarms that helps Brooklyn youth learn about cultivating their own fresh produce. I'm hoping I can get in there as their PR girl and help spread the word, along with volunteering during their outdoor markets. I couldn't find something that would allow me to bake per se, so of course now I'm all up in my journal trying to think of ideas that will blend cooking demos with community service. Hmmmm.

Other than that, I'm still just a girl trying to find a place in this world, dreaming about Paris, reading about food, and planning my next adventure. Until next time....

first time for everything...

*UPDATE*

Oh you are all so lovely and sweet, thanks so much for all of the suggestions and help! I decided to go with the pumpkin pie inspired recipe, and will mix in a little chai fusion. The hot chocolate smoothie was a close second, but didn't feel as original. And I will be doing the bred competition as well, so more on that later!

***

Oh dearies, I need your help! Got your thinking caps on? Okay, I'll wait one sec.....ready now? Goodie! Let's get to it. Okay so I feel very proud of finally posting my attempts at macarons; I was quite nervous to do so, but you all have been so supportive and sweet even though some of them looked like they got ran over by an ice cream truck. A thousand times thank you! Now that I have a little confidence in me (before it fades of course) I was hoping I could put it to use in something I otherwise would never dare try: a food competition! Well, actually, a recipe competition to be exact. Its for Foodbuzz, and so long as I have been a member, I have never even considered balling up the courage to participate in any one of the lovely activities they announce. Well, that changes now. It takes activities like this to build up the mojo it will need to do things like, oh I don't know, open a Bed and Breakfast or bakery or tea shop! If I want to do all those things, you bet your tush I better not be afraid of a little recipe competition.

So why am I afraid you ask? Well, its just that, a recipe competition. Not a "who has the most pink items in their house" competition, but a "you need to be original and creative and wow our socks off with your culinary genius" competition. And well, I've never done a recipe from scratch before! Adaptations yes, but originals? Wowza. So will you help me? Oh please say yes! Yes? Okay, yay! Sooo I have two I want to join. One is a smoothie recipe and one is a recipe with the main ingredient as bread. Below are my thought processes and any feedback, criticisms, suggestions or ideas would be great! And you bet that tush of yours I will be sharing my prize, whatever it may be, with those who helped me!

Bread Recipes

• past winner inspiration- fritatta muffins, pumpkin stuffed french toast, peanut butter and chocolate chip bread pudding muffins, savory pumpkin bread pudding
• something French and hard to do- manipulate bread into mini choux, cream puffs or even a pressed (panini-like) mille feuilles layer cake with nutella or something?
• something small and cute- manipulate bread into pigs in a blanket?
  

Smoothie Recipe

• hot chocolate smoothie or green tea smoothie
• thinking something that screams fall- pumpkin spice smoothie inspired by pumpkin pie at Thanksgiving, and can even include marshmallows mixed in or on top (smoothie meets milkshake?)
• or a unique take on a classic- rework the monkey smoothie with bananas, chocolate, peanut butter and ____?
• something like Starbucks would do- chai, eggnog, or gingerbread smoothie

j'adore des macarons...

You might say I am a little obsessed with these petit cookies. Their crisp chewy shell and the rich dense fillings of raspberry, chocolat or even caramel. Their lustrous brightly hued shells in fuchsia, Robin's egg blue, rouge red, and mocha brown. Biting into them is an innocent nostalgic bliss only comparable to days on Daddy's shoulder at the fair with giant elephant ears in your hands. Even just staring at these mini luxuries give way to an instant smile. Your eyes gleam, your mouth salivates, your heart beats faster. Could it be? Are macarons my soul mate? Will I meet them on my next blind date? Are they the new equivalence of tall, dark and handsome for the single gal? Maybe so. I would certainly trade a full box of Laduree's macarons with a glass of wine and some Sandra Bullock flick over a night with a cute stranger any day! What's worse, is that I just discovered, not even 12 hours ago, a quaint little cafe by school that sells macarons for only $2. That's a steal for NYC. And get this. They have mini choux too! I had to try them, as I am suddenly finding myself in an absorbency of French culture mode and have always heard of this infamous choux pastry. I opted for the caramel filled mini choux, generously sprinkled with sugar and perfectly browned. OH MY GOSH. Can we say heaven on Earth! I'll do a full bakery review later this weekend.

What I really wanted to tell you lovelies is that I am going ahead with my foray into professional baking early. Why not right? There is inspiration all over the place! Reading A Homeade Life at our book club. Surfing through my fave blog Franish Nonspeaker. Seeing all the writers turned foodies enjoy life the way Europeans do. Its my turn darn it! So I am going to go pick up a catalogue at the Culinary Institute which has been on my New Year's resolution list for months (maybe even years...ouch). I'll do a pastry course, see what I can learn, and go from there. I might even have a few tricks up my sleeve with my ami nouvelle Mandy. Etsy comes to mind. Shhhhh. And then when I finally make it to Paris on my study exchange program, I'll take a master course on macarons so I can really give Pierre Herme a run for his money. Ah, oui, more like a walk, but you can find my confidence endearing for now. And who knows, maybe a small bakery in San Francisco, that is, if I fall in love with the city the way I'm expecting to, come this November. Life is full of dreams. Its time I make some come true...

What about you? What are you going to cross of your list?!

aspiring american in paris first batch of macarons...

Longggg overdue ladies and gentleman, but please offer a drum roll for...my first batch EVER of homemade macarons! I know, I know, you have been waiting on me, your savior, to try these out first. You needed that last bit of hope that even the most pathetic and unequipped hobbyist baker could pull these off. Well, tis true mah dears! I am clumsy, always unprepared, lacking any training, and totally pulled these off. Woot, woot! And the story all starts with one little email from my friends over at Oh!Nuts. They wanted to offer my humble lil blog some fresh bulk nut products, and when I saw they carried almond flour, I knew it was a sign from the baking gods. "Just go for it already Lola" the gods were whispering, getting impatient. So I did. It was now or never.

So I did it! From scratch. By my own handiwork. With no help whatsoever. Just allot, allot, allot of reading of course. And can you blame me? These suckers are a nightmare for every novice foodie or aspiring pastry chef. But after a while (re: two days of research interrupted by my own 48 hour old stench) I finally lifted my head and closed my sagging eyes, went to bed, and promised myself to just awake the next day fresh, fearless, and ready for an adventure. Everything should be taken with a grain of salt right (pun intended!)? So I accepted that I might be defeated, that those macarons would emerge from my Granny's old little oven with no feet, concave lids, burnt bottoms, and the color of mud. But low and behold, none of that dare take place! You know, after watching Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice marathon style for the last few months, I am really starting to believe that people who want to survive an extensive surgery, or kick cancer treatment in the ass, just have to believe in the positive all the way through, as if confidence and optimism were the last remaining emotions left in the world and you had no choice. Same should go for baking. Why on Earth should home bakers torture themselves by the elusive reputation of one small little cookie? Just believe in yourself and shove all the foolishness of everyone else's bad experiences in the far part of your brain.

I set out to do this like a surgery. Let's, for sake of storytelling, call me Dr. McCreamy. Oh yeahhh. I had my 'mis en place' which really gets the confidence engines revving when you sit back and see all the gleaming fresh products awaiting their master. Nothing is ever perfect, no matter how much you research or plan. So of course, I forgot the eggs had to be aged so I just followed a trick I read about, and popped those bad boys in the microwave for about 10 seconds. I slowly unzipped the freshlock seal on my beautifully nutty aromatic almond flour by Oh!Nuts. I got my sugar and my salt and all their pantry friends together, and we just, ya know, set out to have a party!

Macarons with Chocolate Ganache & Salted Caramel

makes about 16 filled macaroons

1 1/4 cups plus 1 teaspoon confectioners’ sugar
1 cup (4 ounces) ground blanched almonds (I used Oh!Nuts)
6 tablespoons fresh egg whites (from about 3 extra-large eggs)
Pinch of salt
1/4 cup granulated sugar
filling (see recipe below)

Directions

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. In a food processor, pulse your ground almonds a few times to make sure they get to flour consistency. In a medium bowl, whisk together confectioners' sugar and almond flour. In the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the whisk attachment, whip egg whites with salt on medium speed until foamy. Increase speed to high and gradually add granulated sugar. Continue to whip until stiff glossy peaks form. With a rubber spatula, gently fold in the confectioners' sugar mixture until completely incorporated.
2. Line baking sheets with parchment paper; set aside. Fit a pastry bag with a 3/8-inch #4 round tip, and fill with batter (I didn't have all that fanciness, I just used a 99cent store pastry bag and cut the tip 1/2 inch). Pipe 1-inch disks onto prepared baking sheets, leaving 2 inches between cookies. The batter will spread a little. Let stand at room temperature until dry, and a soft skin forms on the tops of the macarons and the shiny surface turns dull, about 15 minutes.
3. Bake, with the door of the oven slightly ajar (or not, depends on your oven, I didn't need to), until the surface of the macarons is completely dry, about 15 minutes. Remove baking sheet to a wire rack and let the macarons cool completely on the baking sheet. Gently peel off the parchment. Their tops are easily crushed, so take care when removing the macarons from the parchment. Use immediately or store in an airtight container, refrigerated for up to 2 days or frozen for up to 1 month.
4. To fill the macarons: Fill a pastry bag with the filling. Turn macarons so their flat bottoms face up. On half of them, pipe about 1 teaspoon filling. Sandwich these with the remaining macarons, flat-side down, pressing slightly to spread the filling to the edges. Refrigerate until firm, about 1 hour.Salted Butter Caramel Sauce

1/4 cup heavy cream
1/8 cup water
1/2 cup sugar
1 tablespoon light corn syrup
1 ounce salted butter (you may use cultured salted as well, as I did)

Directions

1. Heat the heavy cream in a saucepan until boiling. Remove from the heat and cover to keep warm.
2. Combine the water, sugar, and corn syrup in a heavy saucepan over medium heat.
3. Stir just until the sugar has dissolved.
4. Cook without stirring until the caramel is a deep golden (you may play around with the darkness of your caramel, but be careful, as sugar cooks very quickly at this point and will easily blacken if you don't stop the cooking by setting the saucepan in a pan of ice water).
5. When the caramel has reached the golden color, immediately pour in the warm cream.
6. The sauce will bubble up. Allow it to become smooth before proceeding.
7. Add the butter and whisk in until smooth. I also go ahead here and pour mixture into a stand mixer, add sifted confectioner's sugar in until it reaches a consistency I like.
8. Use warm or at room temperature. It should be stored in an airtight container in the fridge, where it will become quite stiff. Allow it to come to room temperature after storing. At room temperature, it is still very thick, so give it a hearty whisk to get it to spreading consistency, or warm it (very briefly) over low heat, stirring all the while.

THE VERDICT:
Honestly, these macarons were delicious! I will not sit here and say they will trump Laduree, but to have Paris a bit closer to home anytime I like, its a very painless process once all the stress about failing subsides. You end up with a great homemade product that otherwise would cost and arm and a leg. I could go without the super nutty flavor of the almonds, so I am up for trying the hazelnut version next, which I discovered on my beloved Franish Nonspeaker!
WHAT I LEARNED:
Ha, wouldn't it be a pathological lie if I denied having learned anything? Are you crazy! It was low stress, but full of new knowledge. For one, mis en place is beyond important for this particular recipe, as everything is about temperament and one ingredient relying on the upcoming ingredient to be ready and at the right temperature. So, mis en place dolls! Then, make sure to learn about your oven. I read so many conflicting things about oven ajar vs oven closed. It was one of the hottest summer days, so I took a risk and figured I didn't need to add any extra humidity and kept my oven door closed. Also, when it comes to whole folding of ingredients, it really helps to watch videos to see just how one should manipulate the spatula, and at what speed and for how long. That is the key to the shells. When it came to piping the shells, I don't have any fancy things okay. I totally took a spice can and sloppily traced circles onto the parchment paper in lieu of a template sheet (which means uneven and mismatching shells, but oh well!). As for the filling, oh my! The salted caramel is so quick to golden, that the first go I completely burned it. So watch that pot closely and DO NOT STIR while its cooking (I did that too, and it turned into a rock). Otherwise, its sooooo yummy and my fave filling so far. I used it for cupcakes a few days later. Oh, and that whole airtight container thing is so true. I put my macarons in a cake stand since I was so proud, they needed showing off. The next day, they were as hard and crumbly brittle as, well, as poorly stored macarons!

cupcake a day...

Salut mon amis! Ca va? Bien, je suis loin de voir a un rendez-vous de fertilite. Mais, j'ai alors deux heures pour de la fin mon rendez-vous au le debut mon cours anglaise. Sooo, j'ai un petit gateau comme toujours ou devoir je suis aventureux et mange un pastry nouvelle. Un eclair!? Oui, je n'ai jamais essayé un pourtant, s'il vous plaît me pardonner! Ou, je mange les trois- un petit gateau, un eclair, et des macarons! Hmmm. Des decisions, des decisons...

***

Hey dolls! Well, I'm off to see about my contribution to the fertility industry (we'll see which one of you smarty pants knows what that means). But lucky me, I then have two hours to kill from the end of my appointment to the start of my English class. Soooo, shall I head to my always reliable and sweet neighborhood cupcake shop, or should I be adventurous and try something new, like an eclair! Yes, I have never tried one yet, please forgive me. Or should I just indulge and have all three- cupcake, eclair, and macarons of course? Hmm. In the meantime, here is a perfectly sweet cupcake we can just stare at and worry about eating later...

the breakfast club...

Bonjour tout le monde! Comment vous allez-vous? Je suis tres bien. C'est lundi. J'aime rarement lundi, mais aujourd'hui es le Breakfast Club! Mon amis nouvelle et moi sommes en Goodreads. Nous lisons A Homemade Life by Madame Orangette. J'ai fait tout le travail pour commencer déjà. De rien. S'il vous plaît nous joindre et nous amuse! A bientot!

***

Hey dolls! How are you? I'm doing great. Its Monday, I know. I rarely ever feel this happy on Mondays, but today is The Breakfast Club, so there is much to be excited about. I didn't get many comments on the last edition from any of you who had images to share of your own picnics, dinners, parties or baking adventures, so I scavenged up some lovely ones for this week, but I'd really love to share ones from my actual readers. So don't be shy! Email or comment me links so we can keep the inspiration going strong. And just in case the fuel runs low eventually, as always, I was conjuring up some idea that can make The Breakfast Club even more exciting. I discovered Goodreads (don't ask me how, I have the memory of a nursing home inhabitant) and was blown away that there are true book dorks just like me out there, who, well read an insane amount and actually let others know about it. I felt instantly at home. Now all my Barnes and Noble shopping excursions (re: addiction) will be put to good use. But don't worry about my future debt, I've actually taken it down a notch on the BN insanity and...drum roll...rekindled my romance with libraries. Yup, libraries! I am here to declare that libraries are god's gift to single, couch potato, unemployed-cum-student geeks everywhere. The smell. The endless row of shelves. The...um...FREE BOOKS! I mean what was I thinking giving up on libraries like that so long ago. Its the only place I can walk into with a card, get merchandise, and not have a bill come visit me 30 days later. Wowza. Can we say holy grail? So enough about my future Learning Annex 'get out of debt' topic, let's get onto to this Goodreads business. So yes, after discovering this lovely community of readers, I figured hey, why not expand our new club into a book club as well. Really, reading and picnics go together like baguettes and brie. Right, right? So I went ahead, joined up, invited a few of my closest new bloggie friends, and made us a group. Looky that, aren't I nice, doing all the heavy lifting for you guys? Thank me later. So what are you waiting for? Join now and sign up for our group. Its completely addictive, you'll see soon enough. Set up your profile all nice and pretty, add some books you are currently reading or want to read, rate books or make book lists, as well as new friends.

My plan for the book club is this: I'll start off as club president (ha! moderator is such a cheesy term anyway, plus Obama made it okay for me to be black...and a president of something at the same time) for the next month, but then we start rotating the leader hat to each member who votes themself as a candidate. So each month, a different president. The president has many powers. Most important naturally being the power to select the books for that month, as well as start discussion topics, etc. I've started us off with a goodie- A Homemade Life by Miss Orangette herself. Pretty good no? And best part is, no need to buy anything, just head to the library like I did! Alrighty, well off to French class now. Oh and by the way, aren't you loving my very first translated post? I'm only on week three of my course, so I can't translate everything just yet (and I really am aiming not to cheat with online help) but in a few months time, I'll totally have a French blog all my own. Hope you are learning with me! Tootles.

Improvised picnics for hubby, baby (named Lulu, how sweet!) and me makes three. A perfect day at the beach on a mild sunny day with juicy mandarins, yogurt, muffins and coconut lime macaroons by BéaPicnic for one done just right since nothing beats celebrating your life by yourself! Perfectly fudgy brownies with hazelnut butterscotch toppings and nostalgic girly props under the gleaming sun, by Ayu

An at home BYOB restaurant? Could it get any better! All ready for fall with spiced pumpkin soup, Shepard's pie, Parisian vanilla slice and of course an indulgent beverage buffet of hearty wine, coffee, tea or hot cocoa by Nessie

*five ingredient fridays* peach melba...

You know what's the worse thing? When you totally have ingredients for something, only to find that something much much later...like days or weeks later, after you have greedily consumed those ingredients for fear they would get abducted by fungus. You are lost now, I know. The thing is, I had beautiful ripe peaches last week. But I detest peaches! I despise peaches. I hate plums more, but still, peaches were never welcome and definitely never invited to any party in my mouth. Just as I can only eat tart strawberries in a smoothie, peaches are just too much for me to handle by themselves. Sometimes I get the sour ones, other times they are perfectly sweet, but just not on the same level as my palette. But if someone were to tell me I could practically boil them alive and have it end up as like the best ice cream sundae dessert ever, oh, I would be there like Cher! So here's to hoping today's five ingredient feast changes some minds like it did mine. And if you don't have any peaches in the house, be brave and grab one from your local farmer cart on the way home. Trust me, five minutes later you will not need any reassurance.

Peach Melba & So Long Summer Ice Cream

adapted via Nigella Feasts on Food Network

Ingredients:

2 1/2 cups water

5 peaches, halved & de-stoned

2 cups white sugar (caster preferred)

1 tsp vanilla essence (or 1/2 tsp vanilla extract)

2 tbsp lemon juice

Optional Raspberry Sauce: (use this, or ready made sauce. Um warm dulce de leche anyone?)

3 cups raspberries

1/4 cup confectioners' sugar

1 tablespoon lemon juice

Method:

Put the water, sugar, lemon juice, and vanilla pod into a wide saucepan and heat gently to dissolve the sugar. Bring the pan to the boil and let it bubble away for about 5 minutes, then turn the heat down to a fast simmer.

Cut the peaches in half, and if the stones come out easily then remove them, if not then you can get them out later. Poach the peach halves in the sugar syrup for about 2 to 3 minutes on each side depending on the ripeness of the fruit. Test the cut side with the sharp point of a knife to see if they are soft, and then remove them to a plate with a slotted spoon.

When all the peaches are poached, peel off their skins and let them cool (then you can remove any remaining stones). If you are making them a day in advance then let the poaching syrup cool and then pour into a dish with the peaches. Otherwise just bag up the syrup and freeze it for the next time you poach peaches.

To make the raspberry sauce, liquidize the raspberries, confectioners' sugar, and lemon juice in a blender or a food processor. Sieve to remove the pits and pour the puree into a jug.

To serve, be generous (not greedy!) and dish out your favorite flavor ice cream along with two peach halves per person. Spoon the raspberry sauce or sauce of your choice over each half. Voila!

PS- And you won't believe it, but I totally found a cupcake version!

i want to live a pink life...

I would live among the cotton candy clouds where pastel balloons are my neighbors and music streams from pink tunes. My food would be sweet, sophisticated, and well...pink! I'd be scholarly and read classic world literature...so long as it came in pink. I wouldn't tease lung cancer, but I'd pretend to smoke fabulous pink cigarettes at some French bistro every morning. I would live in a pink house that everyone would envy. And I'd only ride around via pink transportation. If by then (then as in when I somehow get rich to afford all this pink luxury) the public metro system in Europe has not been renovated with a complete pink wash, then really, I have no choice. Pink vespa. Period.

cupcake a day...

Today I feel like a cupcake, perched up on a window sill, waiting for my life to come. And sometimes...I just want to eat myself!