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the house that love built...

So you may have guessed it, though you could never tell, but I have a new thing in my life...and its called love. Hmmm, granted not love just yet, but pretty darn close. The funniest part, is that it got dropped on me as if by a baby stork. Like a Thanksgiving dinner delivery, literally. We'll call him L for now (L&L so cute, I know!). And yet I've lied again...the funniest part is actually this...my mother fixed us up. On what planet that actually works, I have no idea, but its true! She had a little twiddle of her thumbs at the art of matchmaking last year when she was in town and I invited her for her first ever margarita (another story entirely). She said she wanted to bring along a friend, and over dinner, whilst watching their marriage-like banter back and forth, I had imagined later on she would tell me that she had gone cougar on me and that he was her new lover. But in fact, she had brought him for me. Brought him to be shown off like a clean cut doxin at a dog show. Oh nice ears. Very slender calves. Nice trot. Unfortunately, at that moment, he was not my cup of tea in physical attraction or mentally, as I was still depressed and clinging on to the fleeting memories of my ex fiance.

Fast forward a full year, and she invites him to meet me for Thanksgiving. Knowing I would be all alone, it was actually a nice surprise to see him again. A year sure did do his body good, because he looked good enough to eat! I almost did. I had been intentionally starving all day to pace myself for all the calories awaiting me on Thanksgiving night. He invited me to the movies. We went. I had a drink. Or two. I was tipsy, and so my lips perhaps might have tipped themselves right over onto his face. He didn't seem to mind. We talked on the phone the next day. We went to a party and danced the night after. We spent this whole past weekend together too. I don't know what the heck is going on, but it makes me believe in reincarnation. How we can just click like we have known each other for light years, its unfathomable. Soul mates is too cheesy, kindred spirits doesn't fit either, but there is something there brewing, and I'm just so thankful. For someone who thought she would never find such happiness again, its the best Thanksgiving gift ever. Love is the best cure to loneliness.

But my only problem is this! The inevitable comparisons to my ex. I keep doing it! Does anyone else do that? My ex was amazing in that he literally found all my life dreams and ambitious quirks to be appealing. If I told him one night I wanted to buy a vintage RV, paint it all pink, set sights across the country, and just cruise for months selling cupcakes at boardwalks or buy a run down cabin in the middle of the forest, paint it all white like a fairytale palace, use it as a bed and breakfast while we sleep off in a streamer somewhere, he would have been waiting with our bags packed when I got home. So what do I do now...starting from scratch..with the same dreams and quirks. I want to live in a gingerbread house just like this, in the forest with the owls and the wood nymphs and light fairies, where the wind sings and the moon glows and the river runs through it like a harmony. Will I have to do it alone, give up the dream, or have my cake and eat it too? I wonder...
images here from this amazing NY Times article here via Concrete & Honey

6 comments

  1. We allll compare to our ex's when it comes to a new relationship, but if he's a good one he'll be capable of outshining all of your ex's qualities. That's how I fell in love with Josh after a really hard heartbreak as well. Just give it time to learn the good qualities about him and you'll stop thinking about your ex and start thinking about him :) I'm so happy for you though I know you've been quite lonely lately <3

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  2. Congrats love! I see that this is where you've been the past few days! ha! I'm so happy for you!

    As for the exes thing, you are just going to have to try not to compare as much as you can. It's hard and everyone does it like Chelsea said but I almost ruined my relationship with Fletcher over that. I compared him to someone else so much that I literally started pushing him away and he finally got tired of it and broke up with me for a while and I realized immediately what I was doing and that losing him was not worth it. So, I stopped thinking about that person all together and started thinking about all the amazing things that Fletcher does and all his great qualities all the time and that strengthened our relationship a lot. It will take some time but I'm sure that once you learn more about your new boy that it will be hard to think about anyone else! :D

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  3. Mazel tov! In judaism we say everyone finds their besherit- which literally means "meant to be." My boyfriend and I have been together for a year next month, and I met him on the day my ex broke up with me! At the time I was crying. These things are always unexpected.
    Bisous,
    Rachel
    lovealamode.wordpress.com

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  4. Migosh! Leti... I'm so happy for you! And this really is a lovely story, I heart this post!
    Congratulations on the new relationship, I wonder how he looks like :p

    it's cute that you didn't find him attractive when you first met him, fast forward to a year later and you're now crazy about him. You soooo cannot predict a life, can't you? Heehee
    Talking about the EX problem, thank god I have never do the ex- comparison. I always thought that my new boyfriend is way better than my ex boyfriends and That's why Im with the new boyfriend, not with the ex. That's why I broke up with the ex, because the universe is leading me to someone much better.

    Good luck leti!!

    Love, ayu

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  5. This post makes me hapy/sad... i too share beautiful dreams such as these; crazy beautiful gorgeous all engrossing dreams- but my husband doesnt. He tells me my dreams are stupid and selfish and that in a marriage I cant dream this way... He has many wonderful qualities, which is why I married him, but he just doesnt see life in the same way.

    only choose someone who will dream with you- and who has their own dreams that you too can share.

    Good luck and God Bless

    House of Istria

    xx

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  6. @House of Istria, this comment made me so sad. Thats my absolute worse nightmare...is to be inlove with someone who doesn't share your dreams. Can I ask how come you stayed with him? I'll be sure to follow your advice..

    Thanks for commenting :)

    xx

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