She'd always giggle when momma teased daddy every morning, "want some coffee in your sugar dear?" Wonder if daddy would laugh now, knowing a bucket load of sugar is the least of our worries. Now there's eel anus, arsenic, and antifreeze in a sweet pint of ice cream. What a knee slapper.
So I was minding my own business a few weeks ago, just laying around being a couch potato, my eyes glued to the pages of Clean by Alejandro Junger (you know the one, Gwenyth Paltrow's fave book of all time....and when do I ever suggest you listen to Gwenyth, but I owe her my life now) and he had the nerve to write in his book what I was already learning from Michael Pollan with the help of a few documentaries -- that pretty much all our food is corn. Now, this wasn't as shocking or upsetting as when I first learned this only one year prior whilst reading The Omnivore's Dilemma, but Mr. Junger here, in his sterile white doctor's lab coat and wickedly charming smile, was asking me to go down to my kitchen and find something in my pantry, freezer, fridge or countertop that didn't have some form of corn in it. Challenge eh? I was bored and up for it. I ran down the stairs faster than a spoiled brat on Christmas morning, confident my healthy lifestyle would reveal purity at its greatest. Well, low and behold my gosh darn hot cocoa had everything but cocoa, my salad dressing had corn chemicals that really have no business on my salad, and my freaking ice cream had more than a dozen forms of corn! Yeah, ice cream...had corn in it....all through it and around it. There was the corn syrup, who had to bring along its brother high fructose corn syrup (oh, because one kind isn't enough!) along with dextrose used to thicken that bad boy up (because corn starch is probably way too expensive for the creamery conglomerates these days) with some help from xantham gum that is a thickening bacteria agent that they feed corn syrup to get all sweet and goopy (but not always, I won't lie, since I did learn they sometimes feed the xantham milk products...ha, but cows are fed corn grain, so there!) and of course hydrogenated vegetable oils to fatten your ass right up.